EPHESIANS 5:24

The headship of man is based on two of the most mistranslated and abused verses in the Bible. The two are always linked together like conjoined twins. They are Eph. 5:24 and Gen. 3:16. These two condemn women to the tomb of silent subservience. Even worse, women have endured physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual abuse throughout the ages. In modern times, pastors will tell abused women who come to them for counseling that it is their Christian duty to submit to their husbands in "everything". "Everything" includes beatings etc. and all manner of abuse. Some will even say they sympathize with the woman but "everything" means everything. I have never heard, or read, or seen, or been given any explanation of what everything means other than it means the man has the right to control the woman, even to her own grooming and down to last minute detail of everyday living. It has been said that even if he beats her to death, she will be honored because she submitted obediently to her husband in "everything"!

The theology of the ages says that since Eve was responsible for the fall of mankind, God commanded the woman to be subject to man in everything for all time. Ephesians 5:24 is always cross-referenced to Gen. 3:16 that says, "Your desire will be for your husband and he shall rule over you". Remember, we have already established that this translation and interpretation is in error. It should read, "Your turning will be to your husband and that will cause him to have a reigning power over you.” Meaning a woman would turn away from God as her source of everything and would turn to her husband instead. That would then give him the opportunity to have a dominating power over her. God was speaking a warning to the woman individually. It was not addressed to the man, therefore, it was not a command that he should dominate or be a ruling governor over her. Nor was it a command to her to submit to domination of the man. There was no command from God in the Old Testament for the woman to submit to the husband as a governing ruler.

We have already discovered that the New Testament "man is head of woman" means he is the source of origin. Of, apo, is the key word, meaning off-flash derived from, coming from, resulting from. It does not mean a ruling governor OVER her. I prayed long and hard before God gave me the answer to my own question, which was, "God, your Word says everything. We know you could never mean that you want your women to be subject to all manner of abuse, so what does "everything" mean?” As God did throughout the research for the book, He directed me to look up the word in the concordance. I thought I knew what "every thing" meant. I was shocked when I finally got a clear meaning of it. It never did mean what women, and men, have been told it meant for centuries. The submission to "everything" has nothing to do with man having control over the woman in every area of life. Nor does it mean all men have control over all women. Or that all women are to be subject to all men. It does NOT mean that woman is inferior and so is placed under superior man in rank or any other way. The passage is meant for the wife and the husband only. The meaning is entirely spiritual!

Ephesians 18-24 "And be not drunk with wine, in which is excess, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord. Wives submit yourselves unto your own husband as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head OF the wife, even as Christ is head OF the church; and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so the wives to their own husbands in everything."

1. The passage is referring to spirit filled people.
2. The spirit filled person expresses that through speaking psalms; singing hymns, and spiritual songs; making melody in their hearts; giving thanks to God for all things. None of those things are dealing with the authority of a governor. There is nothing spiritual about the dictation or demands of a boss over somebody.
3. These spirit-filled believers submit to one another in the fear of the Lord. This means that because there is an awesome reverence and recognition of God's presence in them, one submits to the godly influence in the other spirit-filled believer. In submitting one to another, no one is assigned to be "over" the other. No one is under another. No one is given the right of decision, decisions are mutually agreed upon together. There is equality in mutual submission! A believer is not instructed to submit to an unbeliever, but to the God-spirit in another believer.

These are spiritual things, not mundane physical things of the world that someone has the right to tell you to do. It is a spiritual exercise.

MUNDANE = pertaining to or characterized by that which is practical, routine, ordinary, concerns that relate to worldly or earthly things.
4. A wife should submit to her husband in the same spiritual way that we submit to one another in the fear of God.
5.  Because Jesus was the source (head) of the Church, believers want to submit to the Spirit of God through Christ Jesus. Likewise, because man was the source (head) of woman, she should want to submit to everything that is of the Spirit of God in her husband.

How do we know that the "everything" the wife is to submit to are spiritual things and not the mundane things of the world, physical things a governing ruler or a boss would expect their subjects to do?

1. The whole context of the passage is an emphasis on the spiritual, not the mundane physical things of the world.
2.The definition of the word "everything.” It is a compound word "every" and "thing" that one has to look up separately.  To do a word study one does not take the very first meaning of the word unless it is the primary word. The study for "thing" utilized a number of original words. By looking them all up, one can come to clear understanding of the meaning and how it is used in that particular place.

A. Every = Strong's Concordance #3956, pas, Prim, word: all, any, every, the whole, all manor of, all means, any one, every one, every way, whatsoever, whosoever. This means all-inclusive, nothing is excluded.

 B. Word study of "Thing" = Strong's Concordance # 5313 hupsoma, from #5312 an elevated place or thing, ie. (abstract) altitude, or (by implication) a barrier (figuratively): height, high thing.
#5312 hupso; from #5311; to elevate (lit. or fig.) exalt, lift up.
#5311 hupsos; from a derivative of #5228; elevation, i.e. (abstract) the sky, or (fig.) dignity: be exalted, height, on high.
#5228 huper; prim, prep; over i.e. with the general idea of place, above, beyond, across, or casual, for the sake of, instead, regarding; superior to, more then: exceedingly abundantly above, in (on) behalf of, beyond, very chiefest, concerning, exceedingly above, very highly, more than, over, on the part of, for sake of, in stead, than toward, very.
#5310, from the base of #5311, huposistos; a superlative, highest i.e.(masculine singular) the Supreme (God) or (neut. plural) the heavens: most high, highest.
By those definitions, we are talking about God. If a man were lifted up and exalted like that, it would be idolatry.

That is exactly what man has done. Man has taken the place of God in a woman's life when he translates submit in everything to mean she must bow to his governing authority over her in all mundane things.

The word "thing" is used this way only ten times in the Word. They all mean high-exalted spiritual things. Sometimes it is referring to Godly things and sometimes to demonic things, but it is always spiritual things.

"Thing" is an elevated, heavenly, highly exalted, Godly, spiritual thing that transcends the mundane, physical things of this world. The truth here is that the husband submits to Christ, then the woman submits to the spiritual things he shares with her because he is representing Christ to her. Those high, exalted, spiritual things of God are what a wife is to submit to in her husband. It has nothing to do with his controlling her life. We know this is true because of the rest of the chapter. 5:25-33. "Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that He may sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the water by the word; that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such "thing" but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church; for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

Christ did not demand, control, dictate, or lord it over anyone. He loved, which means affection and benevolence. Benevolence is a disposition to do good, to be kind, to be charitable. Love being affection and benevolence does not include governing, dictatorial, control. Christ died for the church. Man needs to die to selfishness and pride to demonstrate the same kind of love for his wife.   

Christ sanctifies and cleanses the body with the washing of the Word. Man sets his wife apart and cleanses her by sharing the word of God, and demonstrating how the Word of God has impacted his life. These are spiritual things he shares with her. This is what she submits to. If he insists that he have a controlling power over her, he does not remove spots, wrinkles, and such things from her. “Things” here is one of the ten times the word is used.  Here it means high, self exalting, demonic strongholds! Rather then cleansing her, he stains her with the sin of idolatry because he has taken the place of God in her life. The man should love and take care of his wife as much as he loves and takes care of himself.  

We should all love each other because we are all part of Christ's body. It is Christ Jesus in us that we love.
The man should love his wife so much that he changes his relationship with his parents.
O.T. Leave = relinquish, forsake, leave destitute, commit self.
N.T. Leave = abandon, leave behind.
He joins himself to his wife as one flesh. Part of the parents’ bodies produces the child, but they are not one flesh with that child.  Only the union of man and woman makes them one flesh.  The bond between a man and wife is stronger than the bond between child and parent. That is why the child-parent relationship must change.

The bond between Christ and a believer is stronger than the bond of man and woman and of parent and child.  However, the bond between man and wife is a picture of how God brought the Jews and Gentiles together in one body through Christ.  Through being partakers of the flesh of Christ, Jew and Gentile became one flesh.

Through being partakers of Jesus flesh and blood, the man and woman are also one flesh with him and each other.
Therefore, let every man love his wife because of Christ in her as he loves himself. Let every woman revere Christ in her husband as she reveres Christ in herself.